Remembering back, the overall feeling is of futility. I had just spent most of the day finalizing a grant proposal packet for the nonprofit I worked at , and led as Executive Director. Writing a proposal made me excited with the opportunity, the impact the organization could make, and the people we would help with the funding. I wrote down optimistic metrics and created yet another a Theory of Change. However, I knew my organization was not really qualified for this grant, and the leveraged funds required would be hard to find. We did not have a chance. The organization was struggling with a loss of funding, and due to these changes, low employee morale. I took responsibility for all these problems, even though many of them were outside of my control. The weight of the stress affected my job performance and my health. I often withdrew into my office to try to find more funding instead of focusing on the needs of the staff, and my back was constantly in pain. I felt stuck in downward spiral and could not see a way out.
At the time I was part of an amazing Executive Director training program called LeaderSpring. As part of the two year Fellowship, pro bono coaching was offered. I had never had a coach before, outside of sports, and was skeptical of how it would help me. I did not need to talk to anyone, I needed more revenue! Also, the coaching model did not make sense to me. The coach does not provide expert advice or consultation, however assumes I have the answers to solve my problems. Obviously I did not! I was familiar with paying an expert to come in, and tell me what I needed to do to reach success. The consultant model was not great, seemed to cost more than it should, and often did not give promised results, however this is what I was familiar with.
The coaching model assumes I am creative, resourceful and whole and have the strengths I need already. At that point with my organization struggling and my back in pain, I did not think I was any of those things.
As the coaching was Pro Bono, I would at least try it out. I met with Pam of Rich Solutions. She was engaging and supportive and asked what I was trying to achieve, and why. I appreciated her thoughtful responses and her contention that I was not to blame for the situation the organization was in. This was enlightening to me. We collaborated to identify three goals I wanted to work on, and I could exhale for the first time in many months.
We met once a week for ten sessions. I found myself looking forward to speaking to Pam, and really appreciated having someone to talk to who listened actively, and did not provide answers. Pam asked powerful questions to make me see my situation in a new light. Having sessions every week kept me accountable to work on my goals and focused my energy away from dismal thoughts and toward action.
Ultimately, I did not reach my goals during the ten sessions. However I was on the way! I built up successful strategies which proved crucial to my eventual success.
What coaching means to me is a collaborative partnership to identify goals, encourage self-discovery, elicit client-generated solutions, and hold me accountable to find success. We are all creative, resourceful, and whole and have untapped strengths to reach our goals. I found great value in my coaching experience and am now taking classes to further my training toward receiving my International Coaching (ICF) certification next year. I look forward to working with others to maximize their personal and professional potential.