The sky is an emerald blue, cloudless. The early spring sun sparkles on the yellow lilies, bursting out of the small planter next to me and smelling of new growth. I am sitting on my front porch, watching as neighbors amble by on a late Sunday morning.
I hear the birds singing and am bored to tears.
After almost a year of Stay At Home orders, I have walked around my neighborhood too many times, been to all the local parks, and do not know where else to go that will not be over-crowded on this beautiful day. I felt stuck here at home. I spent all day yesterday working in the backyard, this morning doing housework, and so feel I have done my obligations. Saw my parents and sister yesterday, and talked to a friend on the phone the night before. I have run out of things I want to do, nowhere to go, and it is 10:45 in the morning.
Time has taken on new dimensions this past year, some days go by fast, filled with zoom calls and deadlines, other days stretch out endlessly. In a normal year, my weekends are too full; sporting events, eating out at restaurants, trips out of town. Some Mondays would come around and I’d look forward to the break.
In the work I do in clean energy, a “blue sky scenario” means the renewable energy system is working out to its maximum potential. The sun is out, solar PV is producing electrons and energizing the attached battery, electric vehicle or getting used by the grid. All systems are working perfectly, and everything is expected to lead to the best possible result.
Today is a blue sky scenario day; my family and I are home and safe, nothing urgent to do. All is well. This irritates me to no end.
I am used to having too many things to do. A wife and three kids, extended family, a demanding job, multiple hobbies, and a 90 year old house needing maintenance; I should never run out of things to do, right?!
Except, my kids are all teenagers, they have their own lives. My wife is busy with her projects. And I am burnt out on pastimes. Everything going well means there is nothing urgent for me to do. The blue sky scenario does not drive me to get stuff done.
A black sky scenario is when everything goes wrong. I am used to those situations too. When I am too stressed to sleep, or need to make impossible decisions or just can not deal.
It will not always be this way. My Dad has cancer, and I will have economic challenges on the horizon. Also, I live in California and The Big Earthquake is expected at any time. Soon enough the wheel of change will roll on and I will be again late for somewhere, behind on projects and short on time. I will then wish for better weather, blue skies and an afternoon with nothing to do.
Today, I will acknowledge what is going well. I am grateful for today, as I know I will get only so many blue sky days.
I do have a project for today.
I am going to replant these lilies, giving them some room to grow.